we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
