I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
id be glad to
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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