A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
