Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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