Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
so let's talk penis.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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