mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
