I wannas sexs uuuuu
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize