New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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