so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
