Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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