How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
