I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
