my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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