Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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