Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
