The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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