Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
