I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
