just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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