just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
