It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
