Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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