This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
