K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize