dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Farmville is her only friend.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
