So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
