You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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