I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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