What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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