what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize