We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
