How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
