doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize