seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
