2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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