Midget sex pt 2 tonight
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
