i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize