That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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