You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
