I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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