Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Found your dick twin last night
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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