he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
