Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
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