What did we do last night that was yellow?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
