The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
