My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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