It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
