doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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