I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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