You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
