i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
