If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize