i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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