I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Randomize