i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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