Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
