you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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