All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
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