I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
