That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
