i already hear my dad disowning me
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
