dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
