I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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