i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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