What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
