i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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