Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
