Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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